Earth Boys Are the Hootest

Earth Boys are the Hottest.

by Michael Hopcroft

Setting Description: Exotic, powerful alien babes try to win the affection of reluctant human teenage boys over the efforts of rivals – and, in the process, prevent destruction to the planet that they do not themselves inflict.
Inspiration: Tenchi-Muyo!, Ah! My Goddess, Urusei Yatsura and other “harem” anime
License to Kick Ass: You are an alien babe who has fallen hopelessly in love with a feckless Earthling and must defend him against all rivals, while convincing him to go along with the idea – which is, despite the utter babealiciousness you exude, an alarmingly difficult task.
Chi Is: The affections of your beloved; you lose it when you hurt his feelings, frighten him to excess, or damage things he cares about (like his home town)
Sample Character Concepts: Exiled Alien Princess, Super-Powered Space Pirate, Goddess Slumming It, Demon Succubus from the 714^th^ Hell, Queen of the Vampires, The Hottest Star in the Galaxy
Typical Tasks: Protect your beloved from danger, fight off pesky rivals who also want your boy, Try and convince him you’re actually a pretty nice girl, go on a nicve quiet date with your boy without leveling too much of the city, save the planet from the Incredibly Nasty Bad Guy who hates your boy so much he’s willing to destroy the entire Ominiverse just to get him.
Suitable Traits: Super Powers, Access to Cool Alien technology, Gorgeousness Personified, Mad Fighting Skills, Sorcery, Interstellar and/or Interdimensional Travel
Suitable Weaknesses: Unfamiliarity with Earth, No Shame, No Concept of Personal Space, Your Little Brother or Sister is Always Tagging Along, Inexplicable Jealous Rages Accompanied by Extreme Physical Violence
Mooks: Stalkers, Galactic Cops, Inconsiderate Classmates or Family Members of your Boy
Nemeses: Other Alien Babes, The Girl Next Door You Don’t Dare Disintegrate, Earth-hating Menaces, Members of Your Family who want you to Come Home Now, Missy!, Your Insane Mentor, Your Alien Ex Who Really Wants You Back
Example Descriptions: As a ball of Cosmic Energy forms in her hands and her long violet hair flows dramatically in the wind behind her, Kalami of the Seven Suns challenges the God Gorp with a furious cry of “You jerk! I finally get Bobby into the Tunnel of Love after trying for weeks and weeks, and the Stars just had to be right TONIGHT? Well, eat solar rays, you ****headed Elder God!”. Propelled by her righteous fury, the bolt cleanly slices off one of Gorp’s heads. “Great,” says Bobby, who is no longer in a faint, “but what are we going to do about the other twenty-two?”